Self Portrait Lockdown Challenge / by Sasha Ward

As we went in to lockdown two months ago I had a few self motivated (as opposed to commissioned) projects I wanted to work on. One was to tackle the self portrait. The new drawings I did seemed less competent than the ones I’d done as a teenager, but still I thought I’d use one as the template for some glass painting - something I think I have got better at over the years. I worked away adding and scraping back the black iron oxide paint before putting the glass in the kiln overnight at least four evenings running. One (below left) was more painterly, the other (below right) was more scratchy and I looked horrendous in both of them - well I was recovering from illness at the time.

Glass self portraits, each approx 230mm square

Glass self portraits, each approx 230mm square

However, when I put one piece on top of the other, there was an amazing transformation as someone that looked a bit like me, which neither of the pieces did on their own, emerged. I kept it in the window for a while, as I checked that I really did like it.

One self portrait on top of the other

One self portrait on top of the other

I also knew that I wanted to do something with these pieces and that I would ruin some quality they had in the process. The panel I made (below) was my second attempt. In the first I had tried unsuccessfully to extend the painting beyond the head shape. Here I kept the extra painting to a neat hairstyle beyond the lead line round the head on fragments of grey painted glass, similar in tone to the face. I used coloured pieces of old samples for borders, all this in 6mm glass to match the thickness of the double head.

Glass Self Portrait I

Glass Self Portrait I

This self portrait only works from the front, with the scratchily painted glass on top. Viewed from the back (below right) with the more painterly glass portrait on top, the illusion that it looks a bit like me disappears and one eye dominates. Difficult, unsettling and surprisingly nerve-racking to make public, the glass self portrait is something I’ll continue doing.

Left: Head surrounded by (high heart) lead  Right: Head viewed from the back

Left: Head surrounded by (high heart) lead Right: Head viewed from the back